A Spinster abroad: Irish adventure

No, I'm not going to "find" myself

Photo by Jed Owen on Unsplash

This week, I’m flying to Ireland for a yoga retreat. Equal parts sun salutations, pints of Guinness, and fantasizing about disappearing into a cozy cabin forever. I want to fill my eyes with greenery and moss and my belly with bread and tea while sheep wander by.

But, rest assured, this isn’t my Irish version of Eat, Pray, Love.

I’m not having a crisis that only travel can fix. I’m not looking for a whirlwind romance or the meaning of life at the Cliffs of Moher.

I’m travelling with my mum and a group of other women, all of whom are older than me, to simply go.

As a seasoned solo traveller, I’ve heard it all: that I’m only able to go because I don’t have kids (true, and I love that for me), that I’m brave to do it alone (usually said in the same breath as a warning about danger), and the inevitable “is it like Eat, Pray, Love?” (spoiler alert: it’s not).

What is it about being a solo childfree traveller - especially a woman who does yoga retreats - that means every trip must be about discovering myself or coming home with some newfound insight into what life is really about?

I don’t travel to fill a void left by not having kids. I don’t have kids so that I have the flexibility for things in my life that bring me joy. Like travelling.

Joy and curiousity over revelations and romance

Solo travel has always been about joy and curiousity for me. It was the mechanism I found that allowed me the most freedom. When I travelled, I wasn’t boxed in by the definitions of being a childfree woman in a society that would prefer I weren’t or the people-pleasing tendencies seemingly wired into my DNA. There’s nothing like wandering through a new place with no plan and no expectations. Travel is where I got to practice the life that I’m building now.

Ok, so, maybe it is a little Elizabeth Gilbert-ian, but not in the way that one big trip and a swoon-worthy romance altered the course of my life.

It’s more a cumulative practice of joy that’s let me become who I am.

And now? I’m ready to reap the rewards.

Unabashed enjoyment

I’ve spent a year without work and without travel. Apart from a quick trip to visit a friend in a nearby city, I haven’t gone anywhere. Which was surprising to many who know me as an avid traveller. But, I honestly haven’t wanted to. I wanted to bring the travel part of myself - the joyful and curious explorer - back home.

Now that she’s (mostly) arrived, she’s ready to get back on a plane and bring me along with her.

I’m excited to travel from this new place of being. Not as an escape this time, but as an extension.

And here’s the thing about travelling with older women. They’re a lot of fun.

So, here’s to this Spinster’s first trip abroad as her full Spinster-y self. She’s not looking for reinvention, just mossy hills, used book shops, and a good stretch.

Cheers!