A Spinster starter stack
Books for the solo living gal
I’ve spent a lot of time fragmenting myself: I’m a certain person at work, a certain person at home. I’m a yoga teacher some days, a horror reader other days, a potential freelance writer on the days between. As a recovering people-pleaser and a person who never quite fit into the box, I got really good at seeming like I could fit into whatever box I found myself in.
It’s exhausting.
I’ve been trying to tamp down this tendency and yet, I’ve repeated it here on Substack. In many ways, I struggle to figure out how to be the “brand” of myself in an attempt to “grow” and “go viral” - things I still haven’t done anyway. At least, not in the ways that some posts say I could if only I did what they recommend.
But the thing is, I’m not a brand.
I’m a whole person who doesn’t fit into a neat box and perhaps it’s time to bring my whole messy self here. I’m keenly interested in life as a solo childfree woman. I also love books, horror movies, travel, and the sweet solitude of a night at home. I’m a writer, a career change-maker, and a yoga teacher. Instead of pigeon-holing those things - books stay on my Bookstagram, yoga stays on the yoga studio’s blog posts - I’m gonna start bringing it all here.
Substack growth be damned!
What better place to start then with books.
The Spinster stack
When I feel confused or unsure about who I am or what’s happening in my life, there are two things I come back to: books and yoga. And so, I’m introducing the Spinster Stack. Books that reflect all the weird, fun, hard, and frustrating aspects of being a woman living alone and trying to navigate a world that isn’t really built for us.
First up, my starter pack. The books I come back to for their stories or that practically help me figure out how to be a spinster.
Living Solo
Books that don’t shame me for being a “crazy cat lady,” but celebrate it instead.
Cackle by Rachel Harrison The eternal dream of being a witch who lives in the woods alone, without shame, and mildly terrifies the townspeople.
Living Alone and Loving It by Jane Mathews A book that balances practical tips with joyful validation that contentment isn’t reserved for couples.
Aging Alone
The fear-mongering of “who will take care of you when you’re old” is often thrown at women who don’t have children. Kids are not an insurance plan (and I can’t think of a worse reason to have them!). Aging solo doesn’t have to be scary.
How To Age Disgracefully by Clare Pooley An unabashedly happy solo living older woman who gets up to hijinks with a seniors group and daycare? Adventures in life don’t have an expiry date and aging can mean something other than grandchildren.
Lolly Willowes by Sylvie Townsend Warner Solo living women and women without children have always existed. This classic from 1926 reminds me that I’m not alone and I can choose the life I want to grow older in.
Financial Freedom
Economic systems are not built for solo-living folks. We need a different kind of advice and to boost our financial literacy.
The Singles’ Tax by Renee Sylvestre-Williams A book that finally sees the challenges of being a solo earner and offers concrete advice for personal finances and how we can advocate to change the systems.
Girls Just Wanna Have Funds by Emma Due Bitz, Camilla Falkenberg, and Anna-Sophie Hartvigsen Financial literacy wasn’t taught to me in school and being a solo earner, I need to understand it. Thankfully, this book exists so I don’t have to ask a finance bro.
Prose for the hard days
Some days, solo living is just hard. You’re taking the adventure of life on your own and taking a path less traveled. Sometimes, a few verses to inspire you are the warm hug you need.
Instructions for Travelling West by Joy Sullivan It’s hard to take a different path and choose to honour what makes sense for you. This poetry collection deeply sees and validates doing just that. Plus, it was recommended to me by the incredible childfree advocate and author Nicole Louie.
A lesson from Mother Nature
As I look out my window and see that it’s snowing in April, I take the lesson from Mother Nature. She is doing what she wants - screw Spring it seems - so why not be who I am too. However messy, unexpected, or “off brand” it is.
What books makes you feel seen in the life you’re creating?
You seem like someone who's got this figured out pretty well! The books sound like excellent choices!